i keep re-experiencing him

and the same words return to me

because he is magic, strong, sensual and tender

he fixes me

in the only space we ever share

that which is, in those moments, our bed

soft, dirty and utterly removed from the shattering world

that has broken and re-broken me

and keeps leaving me breathless

seeking air and light and traction

the ability to feel the whole of me

undisturbed

impenetrable

and exquisitely open

all at once

which is how he fixes me

with his skin, his sound, his smell and the power of his empathetic attention

because with him

i can stop