today

he is still on my mind

but i am letting go

today i am

looking outward

content with my mystery

stretching warm

and wondering

at the turning

of the page

today i am

dreaming lucid

as i drive the blue hills

of someone else’s distance

still ravenous

she folded her napkin

and stood up from the table

chess is a drag

especially if you’re the third person

and you try to draw ’cause there’s a pencil and paper around

but you can’t

you’re just no good

and whenever you do, it’s just boredom

that’s all, boredom

and you wish someone like him was around

’cause that’s something you’re good at

i am marinating here in your words

waiting for their heat to fill me

caramelize the latent sweetness your recipe will effervesce deep down within me

deep down

in the way down

of the ancient woman-heart of me

that will recognize this

my moment to spark

achieve complexity

with carnal awareness of my currents, currants and peaches

how they will swallow your saltpepper sift

and tide

we are not all made to work on the same things

is nothing more than magical thinking

so turn the fuck away

there are no absolutes

so stop concerning yourself with judgement

stop thinking that you are being punished for bad behavior

because there is no arbiter of truth here

only a rising and setting sun

and a collection of moments in between

felt

held onto

(as that is what we will ever attempt to do)

and let go

i am choking back the words

because they would be too bitter in your mouth

and these inky wings given me by the abyss,

stitched in the light of the wee hours,

into my naked back

(and that both tether and soar me)

are far too heavy

for your “unbearable lightness”

peace

what i need

and will never completely attain

love

what i will never define

but live on

happiness

what rests there in my pocket

my hand

the movement of my hips

in my light

and what slips from

soft against

my lips